Hey all. So I wanted to do a blog post
on something that has been bothering me lately. I mentioned before that I have
been doing online dating. I’ve been active on a few online dating websites
since December. It’s been interesting to say the least, but I’m glad I finally
have some time to explore dating and focus on that part of my life. It has been put on the back burner for too long. There’s
been times where I felt like giving up on it and focusing on bigger and better
things, but I haven’t just yet since I believe I got to go through a lot of
frogs to meet my prince.
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| My Prince Charming! Isn't he cute? lol |
I will say that you definitely have to
be safe with the whole thing and meet in a public place, despite shady guys
asking you to come to their place.
I’ve had a few dates so far and the
dates themselves have been nice. I like to think that I try to keep things fun
and nice and it’s always exciting meeting someone new for the first time. I
also find that I’m learning from each experience of what I want and don’t want
in a man so that’s a positive too.
On the other side, I have been lied to.
And not just little white lies, but big lies. Like lying about not being
married and having kids. I had to find that out myself and thankfully, pretty
quickly. Too bad background checks seem to be necessary and aren’t free.
And don’t be surprised that basically
anything a normal person wouldn’t dare say to someone they just met in person will
be said without tact behind a computer screen. And it will seem that everyone
you find attractive won’t find you attractive lol. And me being 31, it’ll seem
like every man out there has already been married at least once and has at
least one kid. You’ll also realize that after paying for a subscription, that
you’ll actually have better luck on the free websites.
I promise this is Backstreet related
and I’ll get to the point.
Obviously, BSB are a big part of my
life. I have a special place in my heart for our five men and I always will.
They’ve helped me through their music during the most difficult times of my
life and have given me so many wonderful memories and experiences I simply
wouldn’t have never had if it weren’t for them. I never felt so much kindness,
respect, and magic from any other outlet. I’ve met other fans who feel the same
connection I feel with BSB and who understand how special they are. In many
ways I do believe Nick, Brian, Howie, Kevin, and AJ gave me hope and kept me
sane when I easily could have lost it and went down a horrible path.
And this brings me to my point. Because
I have such a passion for BSB, I do tend to bring them up in casual
conversation online and on dates. I just feel that they are a big part of me
and I am not ashamed to like such talented, wonderful men and their music. Why
should I be ashamed?
Also, questions about travel and music
are always gateways to bring up BSB. Yet with some guys, it freaks them out.
Thankfully, not all but a few.
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| That's right! :P |
I’ve discussed this with some friends,
both BSB fans and not, and I’ve came to the conclusion that it isn’t something
I want to hide or reveal until they are vested in the relationship. If they can’t
handle a passion that I have and won’t even let me give an explanation, then I
think they have the judgmental problem and could even be a control freak. Are
they really that insecure in their manhood?
After I shared my facebook page that
mostly consists of BSB stuff, I had a man simply tell me that I want a pop star
and that he isn’t one, without even letting me explain the real reason of why I
love BSB so much. If that were the truth, that I just wanted to be with a pop
star, I would be going to every male pop stars’ concerts, vips, and events…not
just BSBs, and would be trying to hookup with every guy with a record deal. As
a matter of fact, a lot of the other music I enjoy is rock or country music and
not pop or “boyband” music. He also seemed to imply that I had something going on with Nick LOL. If that were the case, why would I be on dating websites and talking to you to begin with haha! My guess is he didn't know Nick is married and I would have happily told him that if he gave me a chance to hear me out.
But to get back to my point, it really offended me that someone
could judge me based solely on my passion for my favorite musical group and dumb it down to something so cheap as it all being about looks and sex appeal. It also hurt for being rejected for something that is such a big part of my life. I’m sure it
would have registered differently if I happened to have pictures of myself with
his favorite rock band.
The whole thing strikes me as juvenile,
ignorant, judgmental, controlling, and a lack of understanding. I don’t need
any of those adjectives in my life, so it’s his loss but I’m surprised of how
narrow-minded some people can be.
I find it ironic that I try to not
judge these men when it comes to their passions and baggage, but some judge me
for being a BSB fan. If the worse baggage I bring to the table is being a BSB
fanatic, then that is pretty damn good considering what issues I could have and compared to some of the things I would have to deal with from their end.
I will admit that my level of passion
for the BSB is on the extreme side, but when so many positive things in my life
were because of them, I think it’s pretty damn understandable. When I hear that a guy has a passion
for sports, video games, carpentry, whatever it is, I don’t judge. That’s where
they get their happiness from. I just happen to get my happiness from BSB. Of
course there are many aspects of me and many other passions of mine, but none
are quite like BSB.
I’m going to continue on this online
dating journey hoping that I’ll find a wonderful man who will accept me for who
I am, BSB fan and all, and will want to get to know more about me and not just
what he thinks he sees on the surface. I've come to the conclusion that I do need someone who will be accepting and understanding of my love for BSB, but that doesn't mean he has to be a fan...just respect my love for them.
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| Do I make myself clear? |
